I have not written of the New Year

I am not sure if 2009 is going to bring good things. First thing is January 6, Joey turns 5. For some reason, I am having a super hard time excepting this.  I will admit it, I don't like birthdays for my boys.  I do totally enjoy watching them grow and learn, but it brings sadness I miss the days when I could just hold them all the time.  Now I know with Joey turning 5 he will learn and teach me things that I never imagined.  I know when I look back, I will think that age 5 was awesome and will be a little sad about him turning 6 in a year.

I think that the shoulder surgery on the 7th has me more upset about Joey's birthday.  I think I am dreading this surgery so much that it is affecting my whole attitude.  I dread being immobilized for a minimum of 2 weeks.  I dread the whole thing, but know I can't go in fear of someone touching my shoulder for life.

Also they say that what we do when the clock strikes midnight we will do for the rest of the year.  Let's hope that is wrong, I was flushing a chest tube that grossed me out, so it would probably make the average person really sick.